From the bestselling author of A Boy Called Christmas, The Girl Who Saved Christmas, Father Christmas and Me and The Truth Pixie. *A clawed masterpiece – Guardian* Barney Willows life couldnt get any worse. Hes weedy, with sticky-out ears. Horrible Gavin Needle loves tormenting him. And evil headteacher Miss Whipmire seems determined to make Barneys existence a complete misery! Worst of all, Dad has been missing for almost a year – and theres no sign of him ever coming home. Barney just wants to escape. To find another life. To be a cat, for example. A quiet, lazy cat. Things would be so much easier – wouldnt they? A darkly funny and adventurous tale from multi-award-winning author Matt Haig.